Apparently, I’m in a gang.
We went to Village Park in Kannapolis, and I’m only sorry we hadn’t checked it out sooner. It has a little train, a *huge* playground, shaded picnic tables (although a bit fly-infested) and a really nice splash pad. It also has one of my favorite things, a big empty field.
Today, we went, and had a fabulous time, until the thunder started. They turned off the splash pad, and everyone started packing up to go home. Some other moms commented on our necklaces, how they were all the same colors. They are all amber necklaces, sold by my friend Ashley of Miss Monkey’s Boutique, and I thought it was a little funny that no one had ever mentioned it before.
As I was driving home, a recent conversation with a friend of mine popped into my head about gangs, and it gave me a bit of a chuckle to imagine us in a mommy gang with our gang necklace colors of different shades of brown. So here are some ways you can identify mommy gang members.
- Drawing graffiti. Sidewalk chalk, anyone?
- Using gang hand signs. It starts with baby signs, and gets more advanced from there. This can sometimes merge with facial expressions to further the gang communication. Simple signals such as “walking feet” (two fingers walking) or more complex like “If you talk to this kid, he will not leave you alone. Ever.” (cutoff sign at the neck while shaking head vigorously and giving crazy eyes.)
- New-found sense of bravery/bragging that they are too tough to be “messed” with. Let’s face it. When we’re in a group, we are a LOT scarier than one on one. Plus, there are more pairs of eyes, thus making it more difficult to “mess” with us.
- Demanding privacy. Really, this is the holy grail of a mom-gang-member.
- Drinking alcohol or doing drugs. Helllooooo Margaritas! Helllooooo Tylenol!
- Unusual mood swings or patterns of behavior. Have *you* ever been shut in a room with a 4-year-old who will *not* stop talking?
- Obsession with a particular color of clothing. Back to the necklaces. And the tendency to wear colors that don’t show ice cream/crayon/paint/lunch/mud.
- Tattoos. Does Henna count?
- Goes through initiation rite. If you can’t guess what this is, you should not be reading this blog. Suffice it to say it is lengthy, and painful, and guarantees that the gang is strictly female.
Our gang, it seems, is called “The Village”. To go along with this, I felt I needed a gangsta name. So I found one. Apparently, I am “Two-time Goat Smuggla”. Hmm.
